shelter from the storm?

for anyone who knows me, they know that my life is..

difficult..

..and recently, unmanageable. so yesterday, i decided that it was time to get some help. after making it up to the 9th floor of evans, i stood in front of three doors, two of which had post-its saying the adviser had left early, and one that said "in conference". i decided to wait and sat cross-legged on the floor, trying and get some of my hume reading done. i sat patiently for about 15 minutes, occasionally glancing up at the people rushing by me, apparently trying to fit too many things in too little time (a problem i'm definitely guilty of). once, i looked up as an older man was passing.. catching my eye, he gave me a slight smile/nod of greeting and made his way to the end of the hall. a couple of minutes later, i saw the same man come out of a room with a chair in his hands, making his way towards me. He stopped in front of me, set the chair down and said, " a lady should never sit on the cold floor", smiled again, and walked away.

For some reason, this random act of kindness struck me, pulling heartstrings that continue to resonate as I write this..

if there's one thing that i've learned since i've been here, it's that no one will take care of you but yourself. it's an understandable fact of life. you can't expect it even from your closest friends or the people that are with you most often..
when that kind of help comes from a source so random.. so blind.. it's hard not to stop and appreciate the unpredictability of life.. of individual people.

hume's idea (or lack) of necessary connection ..

mm..we are completely free, able to use our volition however we please because only experience can give us the slightest hint of what may happen next.. the possibilities are endless! even when it seems like people continue to fail you, someone can resist the tide and lend you a hand.. a few kind words.. a gesture of encouragement.

even when the rains continue to pour all around me, and my shelter, my selfish effort to resist drowning in all that engulfs my life, seems ready to fall.. someone can come and offer support you couldn't have imagined.

go figure.